Each year approximately 210,000 people in the United States are diagnosed with a primary or metastatic brain tumor. That averages over 575 people every day—many of whom are children, as brain tumors are the second leading cause of cancer death in children under 20. For those diagnosed with GBM (the average incidence of 2-3 cases per 100,000 people), the median survival time is 14 months. These are startling facts! Further, despite these numbers, it is a well-known fact within the cancer research community, that brain cancer research is largely under-funded. Thus, your generous support is greatly needed. There are a number of ways in which you can support this cause–buy an event ticket at $75 a piece, become an event sponsor, purchase an ad, or make a direct (tax-deductible) donation to NBTS (Tax ID number is 04-3068130) by visiting our event webpage at www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/ValentinesHumanitarianGala.

The National Brain Tumor Society is fiercely committed to finding a cure for brain tumors. They aggressively drive strategic research; advocate for public policies that meet critical needs of the brain tumor community, and provide comprehensive patient, family, and caregiver resources.

We hope you will support our efforts by purchasing a ticket, becoming a sponsor, purchasing an ad, or making a direct donation to NBTS. Thank you in advance for your generous support! For more information, such as sponsorship opportunities or event ticket sales, please contact JerMara Welch at (877) 378-8340 x801 or email her at jermara@thesupermodelsociety.org.

Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light. Though you stumble, God will not let you fall–for the LORD upholds you with His hand.

God bless you,

The word “Total” for the purposes of this article has a dual meaning. Its first meaning is “complete or whole.” The second meaning is an acronym that stands for Trust, Obedience, Temperance, Attitude, and Love.” Unless we (only with the guidance of the Holy Spirit) bring each of these areas in line with the will of God, we should expect that that our goal of sanctification will fail and our reward of eternal life, will be undoubtedly lost.

Let’s take a look at how each of these areas impacts our Christian walk:

• T-Trust. Faith is the same thing as trust. We must trust God in everything we do and attempt to do. We must have faith that He who holds tomorrow has already taken care of today. Putting our whole trust in God immediately removes trust in self and paves the way for His will (not ours) to be done. By daily keeping our shield of faith raised before us, we are protected from Satan’s attempts to wound us by convincing us that we can succeed in life with our own strength and resolve as well as without Christ. (See Matthew 6:25-33, Romans 1:17, Proverbs 3:5-7)

• O-Obedience. Following (to the letter) the rules and regulations God has set before us is an important step to being complete in Christ. However, only with His help and trusting in Him can we totally achieve this. We must be uncompromising even in the smallest areas. He knows what is best for us and would never put us in a position that we could not handle. Parents give their children rules and directives because they want no harm to come to them and they want them to lead happy, healthy, and successful lives. In the same way, our heavenly Father gives us, His children, laws to abide by, to keep us from harm, so that we can have eternal life. We will find that our lives will be less plagued with drama and more full of His peace and blessings if we would just obey! Only with complete surrender to His will can we experience the fullness of what He has in store for those of us who choose to obey. Obedience is the key to hastening the coming of our Lord! (See Exodus 20:1-20, Isaiah 1:19-20, 1 Peter 1:13-16, Proverbs 3:1-4, 11, 12)

• T-Temperance. Without a clear mind and healthy body we cannot effectively follow Christ. Anything placed in or on the body that negatively impacts our relationship with Him, should be avoided. God made us perfect and we should have no need to add or take away from His perfect creation. Does God need help? We must exercise restraint and godly sense in what we eat, drink, watch, do, read, wear, speak, who we associate with, and even in the way we handle our finances. Our moral compass will be more finely tuned, and Christ’s light in us will shine bright when we are not under the influence of harmful practices such as consuming unhealthy foods and alcoholic beverages, watching pornography, using tobacco and other harmful drugs, or participating in sexually immoral behavior. We are called to prepare our bodies, hearts and minds, just as John the Baptist did. His assignment was to prepare the people for the first coming of the Messiah. Our job is to prepare the world for His second coming. (See 1 Corin. 6:12-20, 2 Corin. 6:14-16, 7:1, Titus 1:15-16, Romans 12:1-3)

• A-Attitude. Our attitude must be an outward manifestation of the work that God has done and continues to do in us. It is important that we carry ourselves and deal with others in a way that leaves no doubt in their minds that God is the Master we have chosen to serve. This should make them curious and eager to know more about the God that brings us such delight. People are always watching to see what we are going to do next—especially during trials and adversity. By allowing the Holy Spirit to dwell in us, our attitudes will reflect victory in Jesus Christ. At the same time, we become active witnesses to someone who needs to know the Lord better. ( James 3:1-17, Ephesians 4:17-31, 1 Peter 2:1-2, Philippians 2:1-5)

• L-Love. No matter what good we do in this life, if we don’t do it with love, then it’s all in vain. God is love. So, there is nothing that can truly be done in the name of love without involving Him! We must love our friends, family, as well as our enemies. We are called to be gracious, merciful, slow to anger and forgiving towards others just as God is toward us. Remember, love is action! It’s not enough to say you love something, someone, or even God. True love will manifest itself with corresponding actions. When we are in love with someone we do all that we can to please them, make them happy and make certain, without a doubt, that they know we are faithful to them. We communicate to them (both verbally and non-verbally) our feelings for them. We serve them and make sure their needs are met. We tell anyone who will listen how in love we are. Since love is a two-way street, and God already does all of the previously mentioned to show His love for us, if we profess to love God back, then shouldn’t we do the same for Him?

In order to meet our Savior face-to-face we must TRUST Him, be OBEDIENT to His word, show TEMPERANCE in the way we treat our mind and body (which is His temple), display an ATTITUDE that reflects the Holy Spirit, and LOVE God with ALL of our being, as well as love our neighbor as we love our self. We must become the T.O.T.A.L. Christian Package in order to make it to the Kingdom! The absence of even one of these elements will eliminate the chance for an eternal life with Jesus Christ or Lord. It won’t be easy—it’s the work of lifetime. But, in the end you will receive your “Well done!” from the One who is with us every step of the way through life’s journey. If we want the total package, which is eternal life, we must become the T.O.T.A.L. Package!

Andrea Pearson was born June 14th, 1978 in Los Angeles, CA. She grew up in Altadena, CA with her parents and sister. At the age of 10, she accepted Jesus Christ into her life and was baptized into the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Since the age of four, she has been active in various choirs, singing groups and clubs within the Adventist Church. In 2005, Andrea felt the Holy Spirit calling her to move from California. Not knowing what was in store, she packed her belongings and established herself in Phoenix, AZ where she now resides with her daughter and son. Since moving to Arizona she has held such church offices as Children’s, Youth, Young Adult and Senior Choir Director, Adventist Youth Director, and Assistant Church Clerk. Her favorite saying is “I’ll hear you better when I see you” believing that actions speak louder than words. She is one that firmly believes in active service to God and does so whole-heartedly. She looks forward to whatever calling and plan God has for her life and aims only to please Him.

Marriage is a holy institution established by God from the beginning of creation. It came about as the result of a need that God saw in a perfect man, in a perfect world. God created everything – the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth, the atmosphere, the birds, the fish, the land animals, and Adam. Everything He made was described as “good.” Adam, who was made in the image of God, was given dominion over all the things of the earth. He named all of the creatures God made.

Although surrounded with animals that were friendly and all subject to him, there was not found a helper for Adam. None could satisfy a deeper need that Adam had. Adam was alone. The aloneness in the man was the one thing that God described in this perfect world as “NOT good.” In Genesis 2:18, we read, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” It was the aloneness in the man that led to the creation of the woman, Eve. She was created from something that was taken from the man, a rib, and formed to perfectly meet his needs. Eve was created to fulfill the following needs:

·       Companionship

·       Helper

·       Procreator as the one who would bring forth the young

·       Nurturer

When God brought Eve to Adam, Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2: 23, 24). And so, the institution of marriage was established. It was to be between a man and a woman. It was intended to satisfy the needs for companionship, help, procreation, and nurturance. It was a relationship that was never to be broken. In the beginning, it was perfect in every way. It was pure, holy, and blessed by God.

As long as Adam and Eve lived in obedience to God, nothing marred their relationship. They loved each other perfectly. They were both very happy. They enjoyed all things together. They worked together, played together, explored the earth together, ate together, and slept together. Eve satisfied Adam completely. Physically, she was beautiful to behold. Emotionally, she was loving and lovable. Mentally, she was intellectually stimulating and could relate to the man on his level. Spiritually, they both walked with God and enjoyed His physical presence daily.

When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin entered their perfect world, and with it, sorrow, trouble, and death. The woman would have pain in bearing children; raising the children in the way they should go would not be without some heartache and sorrow; her desire would be to her husband who would sometimes seem distant and uncaring; her husband would rule over her and would sometimes overrule the wisdom she might bring to the table when it came to handling issues.

The man would have to work hard to provide for himself and his family – by the sweat of his brow. Getting the things he wanted out of life, achieving his goals and dreams would not be without a struggle – the thorns and thistles of life. But all of this did not change the institution of marriage, the sacredness of the marriage vow, nor the roles that the man and the woman were to fulfill in that relationship. Hence, as part of their vow, the man and the woman come together before God and a cloud of witnesses (heavenly and earthly): “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” And what God joins together, no man or woman is to put asunder.

I believe it is safe to say that most men and women come together in marriage hoping for and expecting the best, yet knowing that problems may occur. Most desire a love relationship that “lives happily ever after.” How is this possible, especially in a sin sick world as we know it? Only by the power of God through the perfect love triangle.

Out of love and obedience to God first, the man and the woman can perfectly fulfill their marriage vows, and rightly reflect His image in the world. As they each hold on to the LORD through prayer, and study of His Word, they gain the strength and desire to love when selfishness would take control; they learn how to best meet each other’s needs as they seek wisdom from God who knows everything about us; they learn patience as they allow each other to grow at their own pace. The struggles that they face will only enrich and deepen their love as they journey through life together.

As a wife, the woman is to be a companion to her husband. She is to be a friend, lover, listener, and an encouragement to her husband. All other companionships are to take second or third place in her friendship priorities. Any friendship that would harm the relationship with her husband should be dismissed. That might mean former male or female friendships. That might mean relinquishing time with family members if that impinges upon the time desired of her from her husband.

The wife is to satisfy the needs of her husband for sexual intimacy because God has given her power over his body. She should learn how to satisfy her husband in this arena, and that comes with prayer for wisdom and desire from God, communication with her husband, and mutual sensitivity to the needs of each other. The woman should never withhold herself from her husband’s need for intimacy, as this could be used by the enemy to cause problems in the marriage (See I Cor. 7:3 – 5).

Her role as a helper could take any form, depending on the need. She may be the keeper of the home, or she may become the breadwinner, especially if illness or job loss should strike. Thus, every woman who chooses marriage should get a good education and train for skills that will be useful and enjoyable to her. The educated woman may find a need to put personal career choices on hold to accommodate the needs of her husband and children. Such might be the sacrifice a woman must make for the sake of her family.

The wife who becomes a mother fulfills her commission to be a procreator with the man and satisfies the command to multiply and replenish the earth. With children comes the need to nourish and nurture the young. This is a lifelong responsibility, and requires the ultimate self-sacrifice of both the man and the woman. Children are to be nurtured physically, mentally, and spiritually. Children are to learn of their Creator first through the teaching and example of their parents. Children are considered holy unto the LORD in the union of marriage where the parents are believers in Jesus Christ (See I Cor. 7:14).

Having said all of that, the most critical role of the married woman, though not specifically stated in the Bible, is one that I call, “restorer.” This role actually comes under the heading of helper, but bears special attention, as it is so critical to the success of a marriage. The woman who loves the LORD lives by the “What would Jesus do?” principle. She recognizes that her role in marriage is to love her husband as Christ would if He were here as her husband’s wife. She “moves over” so to speak, so that Christ can love through her. This kind of TOTAL commitment, allows her to see her husband, her children, and herself safely through to the Kingdom! The salvation of her family depends upon such a commitment, and is thus, truly a ministry.

Recognizing the power God had given to the woman to influence the man, Satan used the first woman Eve, to destroy the first man, Adam. But God used the woman to bring forth the Deliverer who would save all mankind, and restore to man the dominion he once enjoyed. Knowing this, the godly woman submits to the will of the LORD and builds her household faithfully and deliberately on the Rock, Christ Jesus. She does this by studying God’s Word, doing what It says, and holding on with confidence to the promises God has given. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pluck it down when she takes matters into her own hands (See Proverbs 14:1). The wise woman knows that a house that is built upon a firm foundation has a better chance of standing when life happens. She knows that the rain WILL fall; the floods WILL come; the winds WILL blow and beat upon her house; the enemy WILL seek to destroy and to devour her children, her husband, her marriage, and try to steal her joy. But she knows that her house WILL stand and NOT fall WHEN it is built up in righteousness and established on the Word of God (See Matthew 7:24 – 27).

We have the example of several women in the Bible from whom we can take a few lessons when it comes to the marriage relationship. Eve married a perfect man under perfect conditions. Esther married a pagan king in a sinful nation that had no regard for God! Abigail married a fool. Sapphira played the fool in marriage. What was the key to success or lack thereof in their marriages?

When we take a look again at the love triangle, we can see schematically what happened in each marriage:

In the case of Adam and Eve, their mutual disobedience to God led to marital discord, murder of the second son by the hand of the first son, and remorse over a dysfunctional family. By the time the third son was born, the Scriptures say that “men began to call upon the name of the LORD.” So perhaps Eve was more deliberate and careful to teach her children the way of the LORD after the birth of her third son, Seth. The ultimate deliverance that came to mankind was through Seth’s lineage (See Genesis 4: 25, 26).

Esther married a pagan king who did not know the true God. He was more or less groomed to think of himself as a god. His marriage to Esther was through no choice of her own but was the result of his decree to find a virgin in his kingdom that pleased him. All physically appealing virgins in his kingdom were forcibly summoned to his court as potential candidates. The one who pleased the king was to become his queen. Esther pleased the king Ahasuerus and she became queen of Persia.

Raised by her Jewish cousin, Mordecai, Esther learned of the true God of Heaven and the value of obedience through him. In obedience to her cousin’s advice, Esther concealed her Jewish heritage so that it would go well for her in this pagan kingdom. However, in the process of time, the Jewish people in that kingdom became the target for genocide and annihilation. It was at this time that Esther was summoned by her cousin to utilize her influence to save her people. It would require exposure of her heritage. It was then made known that her marriage to a pagan king and his love for her would possibly be the means by which her people might be saved. But Esther had to respond in faith and obedience to the call. The call was not without risks. She could have lost her life because the king had not summoned her to come to him. Wife or no wife, queen or no queen, she could have lost her head if she came to him without prior summoning. She also could have lost her life because the decree had already been signed and sealed by the king to kill all Jews in his kingdom on a certain day.

Not knowing what to do, Esther fasted and prayed for 3 days. She asked that all Jews in the Persian kingdom likewise fast and pray for 3 days. With a resolve to answer the call whether she would perish or not, Esther went forth to plead to the king for her people. The outcome of her obedience was so successful, it led to the salvation of her people, the advancement of her cousin Mordecai to second in command of all the people in the Persian kingdom (See Esther 10:3), and salvation to her husband whose son, Darius, confirmed the decree to rebuild the house of God in Jerusalem and that prayer be made for him and his family (See Daniel 9:1; Ezra 6 and 7).

Being married to Nabal was no easy task for Abigail. The Bible does not mention whether or not she entered the relationship of her own free will, or if it was arranged. Abigail was described as “a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance.” Nabal was described as “churlish and evil in his doings” (See I Samuel 25:3).

When Nabal had a chance to repay David and his men for protecting his flock, Nabal refused to share any of his wealth with them. His response was so ungrateful that David prepared to kill every male in Nabal’s household. Abigail found out from the servants about the ill treatment David’s men had received at the hand of her husband. She quickly interceded on behalf of her entire household. She could have taken this situation as a way of deliverance from a bad marriage. After all, David wasn’t after her. Instead, she remained faithful to her marriage vow and interceded on behalf of her foolish husband.

She quickly gathered what she could for David and his men – without consulting her husband. She ran out to meet David and his men as they were on their way to kill Nabal and his men. She humbled herself before David and his men, took the blame for her husband’s foolishness, appeased the wrath of David, and then she went back home.

Unaware of how close he came to death, Nabal was feasting on his goods and was in a drunken, but merry stupor. Abigail appropriately waited for him to sober up before telling him what she did, the next day. That’s when the LORD stepped in to deliver Abigail from a bad marriage. The Bible says that when Abigail told him what she did, Nabal’s heart became as a stone. Ten days later, the LORD smote him and he died. I believe that within those ten days before his actual death, Abigail, as was her custom, took care of Nabal. And she probably prayed for him. If Nabal makes it to Heaven, it will be the result of a praying wife who remained faithful to a churlish man, until only death parted them. As a result of her faithfulness, Abigail remarried – this time to a king (David) who is in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Truly, her Maker became her husband (See I Samuel 25).

Our last example is a strong rebuke to those who would make the fatal and eternal mistake of following an ungodly husband to perdition. Ananias and Sapphira were part of the early church. Apparently, they had pledged to sell some land and bring all of the proceeds to the church to help in the work. After selling the land, however, both husband and wife reneged on the pledge by withholding some of the proceeds of the sale. When Ananias got to the church, he brought part of the money from the sale of the land and would have the people believe that he gave all. However, the Holy Ghost revealed the lie and exposed him. When Peter rebuked Ananias for lying to the Holy Ghost, Ananias fell dead. Three hours later, when her husband failed to return home, Sapphira went to the church looking for him. She was questioned about the amount of money that the land was sold for. She knowingly told the same lie as her husband. She was likewise rebuked for lying to the Holy Ghost and was committed to the same punishment as her husband (See Acts 5: 1 – 10). They were buried together, and will likely burn together.

The wife should follow her husband as long as he follows the LORD. But if he chooses to let go of the LORD, the wife should remain faithful to God. She can and should remain married to her man if the ungodly husband wants to remain in the marriage. According to the scriptures, the unbelieving husband is sanctified by a believing wife – as long as she remains faithful to God. Salvation can even come to an unbelieving husband who is married to a believing wife. The reverse is also true (See I Cor. 7: 10 – 16). If the unbelieving husband departs from the believing wife, then she is free of the marriage vow she made. The reverse is also true.

From the examples given above, it can be seen that obedience to God was the primary ingredient for the successful marriage. Neither beauty, wealth, nor a perfect beginning will guarantee a happy, successful marriage. This holy institution that was established by God, can only be ideally experienced as the participants remain faithful to God, in obedience to His Word.

So you want to get married? That’s a good and honorable thing to do. My prayer is that God grants you the desire of your heart. Begin by walking with God; trusting Him to prepare you for this role; waiting on Him for the hook-up; and depending on Him for the success of your marriage as you remain obedient to Him.

God Bless You,

Copyright © 2011, Marcia Davis

“She fell at his feet and said, “My lord, let the blame be on me alone. Please let your servant speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. May my lord pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name is Fool, and folly goes with him. But, as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my master sent” (1 Samuel 25:24-25 NIV).

In our last issue we reviewed the story of Queen Esther and learned that a characteristic of a true supermodel is that she realizes it’s not just about her. In other words, as daughters of the Most High God, we understand that we were sent here by Him, for Him, and to further His kingdom. Thus, because we are ambassadors for Christ, we must use our position of influence (because either we’re influencing or being influenced) to lift Him up and point others to Him.

Having said all of that, the next characteristic of a true supermodel that we’re going to learn about is taken from the story of Abigail. The Bible speaks of Abigail as an intelligent, beautiful woman, who was married to Nabal, a wealthy, surly (vulgar and mean-spirited) man. Samuel the prophet had just died; and David, although he’d been anointed as Israel’s second king, hadn’t yet taken his place on the thrown.

During this time, David and his army were living in the Desert of Maon. While there, David and his men assisted (out of the kindness of their hearts) Nabal’s shepherds by keeping danger away from Nabal’s flocks. Not long after, during sheep-shearing time, David sent word to Nabal requesting some food and supplies for his men. David addressed him kindly and expected Nabal to extend the same courtesy. To David’s dismay, Nabal’s response was the exact opposite. He hurled insults at David and asked, “Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” (1 Samuel 25:10-11 NIV).

Enraged by Nabal’s response, David and four hundred of his men headed toward Nabal’s house to kill him and all the males in his household. As David prepared for his attack, one of Nabal’s servants told Abigail what her husband said and warned that David was on his way to kill him and all the men in their household. Quickly, Abigail prepared a feast to feed an army and sent it ahead of her, along with supplies. “Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys” (v. 18). Somehow, from this verse, I get the picture that this was not the first time she cleaned up her husband’s mess. After sending the supplies (without telling her husband), Abigail went to meet David.

Once Abigail saw David, she quickly dismounted her donkey, bowed down before him with her face to the ground, and said, “My lord, let the blame be on me alone” (v. 24). Abigail pleaded on behalf of her undeserving husband and put the blame on herself for his wickedness. By God’s grace, she convinced David not to attack Nabal. In fact, David praised her for her quick response to resolving the problem:

“David said to Abigail, ‘Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak’” (v. 32-34).

After their exchange, Abigail left in peace. However, the story doesn’t end there. God in his compassion released Abigail from her marriage to that scoundrel of a man. In fact, when she got home and told Nabal what had happened, instantaneously God struck him with a stroke and he died ten days later. Once David heard of Nabal’s death, he praised God and took Abigail to be one of his wives. She was the mother of his second son, Kiliab.

This story not only demonstrates the selfless, humble spirit of a great woman but also the compassion, mercy, and justice of God. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Abigail wasn’t at fault for Nabal’s actions toward David, yet she was willing to take the blame for it, and put into practice our second characteristic of a true supermodel—that is “a willingness to stand in the gap” (even if the person you’re looking out for doesn’t deserve it). Abigail’s selflessness is also evidence of God’s grace and mercy. Clearly, Nabal was undeserving of his wife’s kindness (in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if, during the ten days before his death, Abigail was probably sending up intercessory prayer on Nabal’s behalf, asking God for mercy on his pitiful soul). This is why I believe the LORD had compassion on Abigail, releasing His daughter from a terrible marriage and blessing her with a man who really appreciated her, a man after His own heart, and royalty at that!

Abigail’s story also reminds us of God’s love and compassion. He sent His Son, Christ Jesus, to die for us “while we were yet sinners.” The Bible says, that as they were crucifying our Savior, He cried out, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NIV). Praise God for sending His Son to stand in the gap on our behalf.

Now, when the time comes, pray for God’s strength and be willing to stand in the gap for someone else, even if that person doesn’t deserve it. Although this is no easy feat, remember that we can do all things through Christ Jesus, who gives us strength (see Philippians 4:13).

God Bless You,

Copyright © 2011, JerMara Welch

She lied on you. Your boyfriend cheated on you. She borrowed money from you and promised to pay it right back, but after 6 months, she hasn’t said a word. Your boss gave you an unfair evaluation and it looks like she’s trying to set you up to fire you. The pastor leaked out some personal information that you shared in confidence, and now the whole church knows about it. Your “supposed-to-be” best friend is trying to hit on your man. You know she saw you, but she didn’t even speak to you. It all starts with an offense—so, what are you going to do about it?

Offenses can make you angry…understandably so. But it must not lead you to sin. The Bible says, “Be angry, and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” Ephesians 4:26. If someone hurts you, or if you suspect you have hurt someone, the Bible instructs us to try to work it out. Be reconciled to that person if possible. Forgive others when they do you wrong. When you have done all in your power to make it right and the other person still treats you bad, the Bible goes on to say “…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” (see Matthew 18:15 – 17; Matthew 4:23 – 24; Matthew 6:14 – 15; Matthew 5:44). As much as possible, we are to live peaceably with all men. We are not to try to avenge ourselves, but to leave that up to God. We are to overcome evil with good! (see Romans 12:18 – 21)

Doesn’t seem fair? Looks like the bad guy gets away with murder? Not at all! These instructions were given not so much as to let the offender get away with wrong doing, but to set YOU free and to keep YOU from eternal damnation. Why go to hell because someone did you wrong?

How is it that someone else can do me wrong, and I end up in hell? Let’s consider the story of the unmerciful debtor in Matthew 18:23 – 35. In this story, there was a servant who owed the king a LOT of money. The king was making plans to sell the man, his wife and his children into slavery as well as sell all his possessions until the debt had been paid in full. The servant fell down and begged the king for mercy and patience until he could pay the debt. The king was moved with compassion and completely forgave the man the entire debt that was owed. That same man went away free, but as he was going out, he came across a fellow servant (someone just like him) who owed him a small FRACTION of what he owed the king. Immediately, he grabbed the man by the throat and demanded he pay up. That fellow servant fell down and begged him for mercy and patience until he could pay the debt. But the forgiven servant chose not to forgive. He had his fellow servant put in prison until he should pay the debt. Other people were looking on and felt bad about the situation. So they told the king what happened. The king became angry with the servant because of his failure to show compassion on his fellow servant. This time, the king turned the wicked servant over to the tormentors until he should pay all that he owed. And, according to the scriptures, “So likewise shall [the] Heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses” (Matthew 18:35).

Take a look at the slippery slope to hell when we refuse to forgive. It starts with the offense. This makes you angry. When that anger is not dealt with properly (with a spirit of forgiveness), it turns into bitterness. Some synonyms for bitterness include anger, resentment, animosity, hatred and hostility. Bitterness is to the soul, what metastatic cancer is to the body. When allowed to take root, it invades the soul imperceptibly until it destroys you. Based on his actions, the wicked servant in the story had undoubtedly become furious with his fellow servant and probably felt justified in throwing him into prison. His bitterness however, had blinded him to the depravity of his own soul. He who had been shown mercy and grace, failed to show the same toward others. The Scriptures instruct us to “follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the LORD: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God: lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” Hebrews 12:14-15.

In short, bitterness leads to defilement. Let’s look at what defiles a man. “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man….” (Matthew 15: 19-20). That which is defiled is not pure. “Unto the pure, all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled. They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate” (Titus 1: 15-16). What are the abominable works that they do? In Proverbs 6:16-19, the Scriptures tell us that there are seven abominations in the heart of a person who is filled with hatred—and the LORD hates them all! “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto Him:

• A proud look (arrogance, blasphemy)
• A lying tongue (a false witness)
• Hands that shed innocent blood (a murderer)
• A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations (evil thoughts)
• Feet that be swift in running to mischief (someone who is bent on doing evil)
• A false witness that speaketh lies (a liar)
• He that soweth discord among brethren” (an instigator)

How similar are the seven things that defile a man and the seven abominations that God hates! Those who are abominable are among those who will be lost (see Revelations 21:8).

When bitterness takes root, it will defile you – corrupt or ruin you; cause you to be polluted; destroy your relationship and subsequently your sanctity with God. “What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” (I Cor. 6: 19) We grieve the Holy Spirit when we harbor bitterness in our hearts? Instead of yielding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit to forgive, we stubbornly reject His counsel, and in self-righteous indignation, we judge the person who hurt us; we condemn him or her and therefore put ourselves in God’s place. That is idolatry in the first degree! Those who do this practice rebellion against the word of God. And, according to the Scriptures, “…rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry” (I Samuel 15:23). If you don’t let go of the bitterness, the Holy Spirit may depart from you, leaving you unforgiven, removed from grace, and subject to destruction. Like the wicked servant, you will be turned over to the tormentors.

You may be wondering, “Who or what are the tormentors?” The Bible describes two people who lived in torment: Saul, the first king of Israel, and the demoniac who was filled with a legion of demons. Saul was chosen by God to be the first king of Israel when the people desired a king. At first, Saul was humble. But it wasn’t long after he gained some popularity and strength that he began to do things his own way, and became disobedient to the LORD. His disobedience was likened to rebellion, which is as the sin of witchcraft. His stubbornness was the same as iniquity and idolatry. He rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD rejected him from being king (see I Samuel 15:22 – 23). The Spirit of the LORD was taken from Saul and replaced with an evil spirit, which troubled him. Whenever this evil spirit came upon Saul, special music played on a harp was the only thing that would bring him some relief. He apparently had no rest during those times. The harpist who played those soul-soothing tunes was none other than David who became the next king of Israel.

Saul was troubled with envy, jealousy, paranoia, and fear. He falsely accused David of being his enemy and hunted him down like a dog for months. He tried to kill David several times, and he killed anybody that he thought befriended David. Saul even tried to kill his own son (Jonathan), who loved David like a brother. Before he died, Saul had stooped so low that he consulted a witch for help, because the LORD had rejected him and would no longer answer his call. Incidentally, don’t you find it interesting that the one who had been commissioned to destroy all the witches, wizards and those who had familiar spirits out of the land, ended up seeking after a witch through his rebellion against God? (see I Samuel 28:7-20)

Nothing is said about the circumstances that led the demoniac to be filled with a legion of demons, but the Scriptures describe him as being wild and untamable. He was often bound with chains and fetters, which he would break. He was “always, night and day,…in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones” (Mark 5: 4 and 5). What a sad, bloody picture of a man tormented by the devil.

Spiritually speaking, the tormentors are demonic spirits that cause one to have envy, jealousy, paranoia, fear, pain, sadness, fierceness, restlessness, and a tendency toward self-mutilation, and self-destruction.

Likewise, physically speaking, bitterness causes stress in the individual. It is a medically known fact that stress causes the release of a hormone in the body called cortisol. When cortisol levels are high, the body cannot produce the antibodies it needs to protect itself from pathogens that cause disease. Thus, stress negatively impacts the immune system, making a person more susceptible to disease. Stress has been linked to such deadly diseases as cancer and hypertension. It has been linked to autoimmune diseases like lupus, in which a person’s body literally self-destructs; and fibromyalgia which causes physical pain for unknown reasons. To live in bitterness is to subject oneself to spiritual, mental and physical torment.

So here is the demonic plan:

Offense → Anger→ Unforgiveness→ Bitterness→ Defilement→ The Seven Abominations→ Physical and Mental Torment→ Eternal Damnation

Look at where a little bitterness can take you! The best antidote for bitterness is IMMEDIATE forgiveness! Forgive immediately – WHILE you are being persecuted. Jesus forgave those who were killing Him WHILE He was on the cross! (see Luke 23:34) Steven forgave his persecutors WHILE he was being stoned! (see Acts 7: 59 – 60) So when offenses are hurled at you, follow after the example of Christ and others who have overcome evil with good. And TRUST that the LORD will see you through. Remember, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the LORD” Romans 12:19.

Your solution to bitterness:

• Cry out, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: …See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalms 139). You may not know you’ve got bitterness in your heart, but God will reveal it to you if you ask.
• Recognize that bitterness is a sin. Confess your sins to God, because “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins AND to cleanse us of ALL unrighteousness” I John 1:9.
• Just as the LORD forgives you for bitterness and any other sin in your life, forgive those who have offended you. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” Ephesians 4: 31 – 32.
• In order to forgive like that, you’ve got to PUT on and KEEP on the WHOLE armor of God, recognizing that your battle is not with people, but with the devil! (see Ephesians 6: 10 – 18) The devil is your real enemy! And the battle is for your soul! The Bible says that the devil, like a roaring lion, goes about seeking whom he may devour (see I Peter 5:8). Sometimes, he works through people to make you fall so that he can destroy you. Recognize that those people who allow themselves to be used by the enemy to hurt others are really living in darkness and may not know what they are doing. They may not recognize the spiritual significance of the offenses that they commit. That’s why you need to go to them when they offend you. Let them know how their actions hurt you, and try to work it out. That might solve the problem immediately. Who knows, they may have acted the way they did because of something YOU did to them that you were unaware of.
• Recognize that God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. It is His desire that all people repent (turn from wickedness) and be saved (see Ezekiel 33:11) And who knows, perhaps YOU are the only reflection of Jesus they see! Thus, as an ambassador for Christ and a representative for the Kingdom of Heaven, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven….” (Matthew 5: 44- 45).

When you are finally able to forgive like the LORD requires, you will begin to see offenses in a whole different light. The Bible says that offenses MUST come, but woe unto those who cause them! (see Matthew 18:7) To the Christian, offenses become opportunities to win souls for Christ. When the offenders come, you find yourself praying for them and showing them the love of Christ. As you lift up Christ by your actions, the Scriptures say that HE will draw ALL men to Him! You may be the instrument God uses to save another soul! What a blessed opportunity! What the enemy meant for your destruction becomes the means by which the LORD saves YOU and others.

May the LORD bless you and keep you in perfect peace as you walk in forgiveness, ultimate joy, health, soundness of mind, strength, and all the freedom that it brings.

God Bless You,

Copyright © 2011, Marcia Davis

When she opened her eyes on the very first day of her life, she literally saw God! She gazed into His wonderful eyes and knew Love. God Himself loved her and was very pleased with His newest creation. Unlike any other creature that God had made, Eve was created from something borrowed. She was the first to receive an organ transplant. She was made to fit the organ transplanted so that there would be no rejection. With His own hands, God patiently molded and made her to suit one specific man. God knew Adam’s tastes. He knew Adam’s personality. He knew what Adam needed. After all He had made, there was only one more thing that Adam needed to fully enjoy what God had given him. He needed a wife – someone who would be his helper and companion; someone with whom he could create life and fulfill God’s command to multiply and replenish the earth. He needed something that at the time, Adam was not even aware of. So Adam was put into a deep sleep and God performed the first surgical operation. According the scriptures (Genesis 2:21 and 22), He took a rib from Adam and closed up the wound. With that same rib, God created Eve. She was created from a “God-inflicted” wound in the man and was called woman. While Adam slept, God created Eve to be the right size, the right shape, the right personality, the right temperament, the right woman for Adam – PERFECT in every way. It wasn’t until Adam awakened from this deep sleep that he sensed a need for something—and God provided the missing link to complete the man.

As God lifted her from the ground, I can imagine Him like a proud, loving Father, beholding His daughter, a beautiful woman, who is ready to begin her journey in life. The Father Himself rejoiced over her and was very pleased. God taught Eve her first steps. Eve never experienced loneliness because from the moment she was created, she walked with God. As Eve walked arm in arm with God, she was given her ministry—to be a companion and a helper for her man. God prepared Eve for her role in life, and like a proud Father walking His beautiful daughter down the aisle, God brought and presented Eve to Adam.

So, you want to get married? Assuming your answer is still “Yes,” it is time to prepare. Our lessons on marriage preparation come from the Bible, and are gleaned from the accounts of Eve and Esther. In Genesis 2:22, we learn how Eve was prepared. And in Esther 2:5 – 20, we learn how Esther was prepared. Notice that neither of these women had any chance to express her choice concerning the man she would marry. Neither of these women had any foreknowledge of their husbands’ personality, likes or dislikes. Both were prepared for a specific man, for a specific “God-ordained” purpose. Both women captured the hearts of their men at first sight, so much so that each man chose to be committed to his woman for life.

What went into the preparation of Eve and Esther for marriage? One common theme is the fact that both were prepared by God. God prepared them physically, mentally, and spiritually.

The Physical Preparation:

When God created the first woman, He created a masterpiece! She was designed with a nature to love and to nurture – attributes from her Creator. She was designed with some of the physical elements of a man and would have some degree of strength as a man. She was made delicate enough to handle fine china, but strong and tensile enough to bear children. She was made intelligent enough to comprehend all things, yet humble enough to submit to the man’s leadership.

Eve’s physical features were designed by the hand of God. Every woman thereafter came through the womb of a mother—Eve being the first, and mother of us all. But even in that, according to the scripture, before God formed us in our mother’s belly, He knew us (Jeremiah 1:5). In Psalms 139:14 – 16 we find out that we are fearfully and wonderfully made—made in the image of God! (Genesis 1:27). Matthew 10:30 even notes that the very hairs of our heads are all numbered!

So when you look at yourself in the mirror, realize that your physical form and design are from God. That knowledge in itself should cause you to realize how special you are. Even if you have an identical twin, there is no one else in the whole world exactly like you. When you look in the mirror, knowing that your features were God ordained, you should have a sense of satisfaction. Unless your features have been marred by injury, disease, personal neglect, or dissatisfaction, you look like the person God intended you to look like.

That said, understand that the “physical” preparation for marriage is simple—dress it and keep it! Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden to dress and keep it (Genesis 2: 15). The garden was their first home. Without proper care, even the perfect garden would become overgrown and lose some of its appeal and usefulness. Your body is the physical house that you were born with. Like a garden, it needs to be watered regularly, weeded, pruned, trimmed, and fertilized. Your physical body needs to be kept clean; nourished with a healthy diet; exercised and worked to make it strong and keep it toned and trim. Additionally, there are other things that can be done to the body to enhance its physical appeal in accordance to the specific taste of the individual. Thus we have manicures, pedicures, make-up, hairstyling, and fashion to enhance the physical appearance. All of this, done in moderation, is acceptable to God.

The Bible described Esther as fair and beautiful in appearance. She, along with all of the other beautiful virgins in the entire Persian kingdom (127 provinces in all) was part of an elaborate but forced beauty contest to win the heart of King Ahasuerus (a.k.a. Xerxes), and become his queen. The physical preparation for possible marriage to the king included “six months with oil of myrrh and six months with sweet odors and other things for the purifying of the women” (Esther 2: 12).

Myrrh oil has several uses. For example, it has been cited to be useful for skin problems such as athlete’s foot, ring worm, dry skin, eczema, and even wrinkles, to name a few. It’s even good for arthritis, asthma, gingivitis, menstrual problems, and so much more! As part of the purification ritual, it apparently served as a tonic to promote physical health. A year-long process, Esther’s physical preparation for marriage to the king thus included exposure to substances and rituals that kept her healthy, looking good and smelling good.

When properly cared for, your body will be strong enough to handle all of the roles you will play as a wife. Aside from being a friend and lover to your husband, you may become a mother to his children. As his helper, you may even find yourself as the “bread winner” in the family—especially if sickness or job loss should happen to your husband.

As part of your physical preparation, learn to appreciate what God has given you. Develop it to the best of your ability and take care of it. When you have done what you need to do to properly care for your body, avoid a spirit of dissatisfaction with your appearance. This negative attitude could lead to covetousness and envy. The attitude in your heart will be reflected in your face and revealed by your tongue (Matthew 12: 34). A negative attitude will destroy the confidence you need to stand to your full height, aspire to your full potential, and walk with dignity. The scriptures say that, “godliness with contentment is great gain” (I Timothy 6:6). As icing is to cake, so is a spirit of contentment to the truly beautiful woman. Be content and satisfied with the physical features God has blessed you with. This attitude of contentment will add such a glow to your physical appearance that you will indeed be beautiful to behold!

The Mental Preparation:

Before Eve met Adam, she walked with God. There is no mention about the amount of time between Eve’s creation and her presentation to Adam. We do know however, that Adam was put into a deep sleep for the operation—totally oblivious to God’s plan. When he awakened, God presented him with a fully-grown, mature woman—not a little girl. Sometime between this deep sleep and the first sight of his woman, Eve was prepared by God and then brought by God to Adam. It is during this interim period between her physical preparation and her actual presentation to Adam that we might examine Eve’s mental and spiritual preparation for marriage.

God taught her how to walk. God took pleasure in observing His young daughter explore with glee the new world all around her. Eve was mesmerized by the beauty in the earth and perhaps was the first to take a flower and place it in her hair. She was particularly drawn to the baby animals that followed their mothers and she saw what it took to nurture the young. As she picked up the precious little animals, she cuddled and handled them ever so gently, and then returned them to their mothers. There was order and beauty everywhere! What’s more…Eve did not experience loneliness because from the time of her creation, she was with God, her Father.

During the final moments of her “single” walk with God, as they strolled down the aisle of earth’s new beginnings, perhaps God and Eve had that critical Father-daughter conversation. God told Eve she was beautiful and intelligent. He was very pleased with her and He loved her with an everlasting love. She could be anything and do anything she wanted to do if she put her mind and her heart to it. He told her she was about to be given to another man and she would continue her journey in life side-by-side with him. Although she was being given away in marriage, Eve was admonished to not be afraid, because God, her Heavenly Father, would always be with her wherever she went, even when she could not physically see Him. He would only be a prayer away.

In this heart to heart conversation between God and His precious daughter, Eve, He explained to her why and how she was created. A small but crucial part of her physical make up was taken from the man. But unlike the man, she was empowered to bring forth and nurture new life. She was specially equipped by God to love. The Father perhaps told Eve what her role would be as a wife. She would have power over her man’s body (I Corinthians 7:4) and was to meet his needs for intimacy. With her delicate nature, she was to handle her husband’s ego like fine china and give him the respect he needed (Ephesians 5:33). When handled rightly, she would give her husband the encouragement to attain to the height of his God-given potential. She was given intelligence enough to help manage the dominion of the whole earth, along with Adam. While she was to submit to his leadership, she was equipped to manage things without his help if the need arose. She was taught how to take care of her garden home and to make and keep it heaven-like. And, at the appointed time, God presented to Adam not a girl, but a mature, intelligent, beautiful woman, fully prepared to be his wife.

Esther was adopted by her first cousin, Mordecai when her parents died. He took Hadassah (Esther) as his own daughter and raised her. When the Babylonians invaded Jerusalem, Mordecai and many Jews were taken captive and exiled to Babylon. By the time Esther came along, the Babylonian kingdom had fallen to the Persians but the Jews were still in exile there. Mordecai taught Esther all she knew about her Jewish heritage, customs and traditions. She learned to worship the true God of Heaven.

When Esther was captured and forced to participate in the beauty contest, she was wisely instructed by her cousin Mordecai not to reveal her heritage so that it might go well with her in the pagan kingdom. Esther had developed the habit of listening to her adoptive father and did what she was told. This habit of obedience to authority paid off well because when she came under custody of the keeper of women in the palace, she had such a pleasing demeanor and teachable spirit that she was entreated most favorably.

After a year of preparation, each woman in the contest was allowed to choose anything she wanted out of the house of the women before going to be with the king. She had only one chance to impress him. If the king delighted in her, she might be chosen queen. But if not, she was assigned to a second house where the concubines were kept. She would no longer be allowed to come before the king unless he called for her by name. As a concubine, she was not free to be married to any other man for the rest of her life. So it was very important to impress the king the FIRST time she met him.

When it was Esther’s turn to go before the king, instead of asking for gaudy jewels or fancy clothes, Esther wisely sought counsel from the keeper of the women as to what she should choose to take. Who would be in a better position than him to know the king’s taste in women? Whatever he advised was taken seriously by Esther. The scriptures say that Esther “required nothing but what Hegai, the king’s chamberlain, the keeper of the women, appointed. And Esther found favor in the sight of all them that looked upon her” (Esther 2:15). With a deep breath, dressed and ready to go, and at the appointed time, God presented to King Ahasuerus, a beautiful woman, fully prepared to be his wife and queen. When King Ahasuerus saw Esther, it was love at first sight! She was the chosen one!

The mental preparation for marriage therefore involves learning all you can to live successfully in life. Develop your mental capacity to the fullest. Get a good education. When it comes to marriage, consider the wisdom of those who are experienced in marriage and who can direct you in a godly manner.

The Spiritual Preparation:

The spiritual preparation of Eve was also of the LORD God, our Heavenly Father. There were no ten commandments at the time; no rules or rituals for worshipping God; and no sacrificing of animals because initially there was no sin in the earth. Adam and Eve were simply instructed by God to avoid the one thing that would cause them to die—eating fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. As long as they obeyed God, they could enjoy face-to-face fellowship with Him and live eternally.

We all know the outcome. When Eve was tempted to disobey God, she succumbed—all of which ultimately led to marital discord, a dysfunctional family, death, and the need for divine intervention to bring salvation to mankind.

Her adoptive father, Mordecai, who taught her the customs of her Jewish heritage, provided the spiritual preparation of Esther. Spiritually speaking, she was taught to worship the God of Heaven, the One God Who created all things. She was taught from the Torah, which includes the Ten Commandments. In particular, the fifth commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20: 12), was the one in which Esther shined. She obeyed her earthly father, in keeping with the law of God, and it went well with her. When Esther was chosen to be queen, the scriptures say that she “had not yet showed her kindred nor her people; as Mordecai had charged her: for Esther did the commandment of Mordecai, like as when she was brought up with him” (Esther 2: 20). Even as a young adult, Esther continued to be obedient to her adoptive father, Mordecai, and it went well with her.

The time did come however, when Esther was told by her father to intercede for her people, the Jews. This would require revealing her cultural background. It required her going before the king at a time when he had not called her. It was a risk that might have cost Esther her life. Esther was torn between obedience to her father, Mordecai, or obedience to a Persian law which said you only go before the king when called, otherwise, you might be killed. The law applied even if the king was her husband. In her struggle to know what to do, Mordecai reminded Esther that her selection as queen might have been God-ordained and thus instrumental to the preservation of her people. It wasn’t simply her beauty or intelligence that got her there. It was a God-appointed assignment in which He would use the union of Esther and Ahasuerus for the benefit of the Jewish people.

Esther had learned the value of prayer and fasting. Once again, she chose to obey her father. She fasted and prayed and asked her people to fast and pray for 3 days. As a result, her life was spared, her people were spared a heinous plot for genocide, and her husband came to know and honor the God of Heaven.

The spiritual preparation for marriage therefore involves studying the Word of God, so that you can learn what your Heavenly Father requires of you as a woman and what is required of those who choose marriage. By seeking the LORD, and obeying Him you have the best chance to be successful in marriage.

So, you want to get married? First ask the Lord for a good husband. Wait on the Lord for the husband you desire. And as you wait, allow the Lord to prepare you for marriage:

• Physically – Accept and appreciate the body God has given you and take good care of it so that you look and feel your best at all times.

• Mentally – Learn all you can to be successful in life. Get a good education and develop your talents to the fullest. When it comes to marriage, consider the wisdom of godly couples that have experienced success. Let them serve as your mentors.

• Spiritually – Study God’s word and obey it. Keep God first in your life. When temped to walk counter to the will of God, choose the righteous way, even if it looks like you might lose the man you love, or even your very life! Trust in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

And finally, WAIT ON THE HOOK-UP!!! Let the Lord present you to your husband. Only He knows when you are ready for the ministry of marriage, and the man He chooses for you. When you have asked God for a good husband, you don’t have to go looking for one. God is working it out for you.

Eve married a perfect man under perfect conditions. Esther married a pagan king in a sinful nation that had no regard for God. What was the key to marital success or the lack thereof? Stay tuned for part III where we take a good look at Married Life – Truly a Ministry!

God bless you,

“Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:12-14 (NIV).

Many of you know Esther’s story, but in case you don’t, you can find an account of her life in the book of Esther in the Bible. Essentially, she was the winner of the first recorded beauty contest in history. What was her prize? She became queen of Persia. Not long after assuming her newfound role as queen, Haman, the right-hand man of the king, and mortal enemy to the Jews, created a wicked scheme to have all the Jews killed. Why? Mordecai, Esther’s cousin and the man who raised her, refused to bow down and honor Haman, who had been promoted to a newly appointed position by King Ahasuerus (a.k.a. Xerxes).

As a result, Haman became so angry he plotted to have all of the Jews living in the Persian Empire killed. After hearing of Haman’s evil plot, Mordecai sent an urgent message to Esther, calling her to action by asking her to approach the king to put a stop to Haman’s evil plan. Esther’s initial response was fear for her life. She knew that approaching the king without his requesting to see her could very well mean her death. During that time in the Persian culture, a queen could not simply choose to go see her king and husband. She had to be summoned. If she went to him without his prior request, she ran the risk of being executed, unless he extended his scepter, indicating that it was acceptable to approach the throne.

Nevertheless, Mordecai cautioned that if she didn’t help, God would send someone else to deliver the Jews and Esther would be killed anyway. Further, he advised that God hadn’t placed her in such a high position just for her sake. She was placed there to be a blessing to others, namely her people, alluding to the idea that “to whom much is given, much is required.” After this scolding from her cousin, Esther resolved to do whatever she could to save her people, even if it meant losing her life in the process.

Through this experience, Esther realized that her being called to this position wasn’t just about her; it was to save her people and bring glory to God. As a result, she was willing to put her life on the line. Because of her self-sacrificing persona, Esther became God’s instrument to save an entire nation—earning her the title of being a “true” supermodel. Esther’s story is reminiscent of the ultimate Supermodel, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He sought to do the will of His Father and He sacrificed His life to save the world.

Adhering to the notion, “it’s not just about me,” is a very difficult habit to put into practice because we live in a very self-centered society—a very “I, me, my” kind of world. With so much focus placed on self it can be hard to accept that we were created for a very specific purpose—to bring glory and honor to God, not ourselves. Consider the following verse: “Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us; we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” 2 Corinthians 5:20-21 (NKJV).

According to Webster’s Dictionary, an ambassador is a diplomat of the highest rank, accredited by a government as a representative in residence to another. As daughters of the Most High God, we represent His government here on this planet. I assure you there is no “I” in ambassador. He sent us here for Him, and to further His kingdom.

Because of the diversity of likes, dislikes, and talents found in the family of God, representing Him manifests itself differently in each person. However, that is our mission and purpose in life—to represent and glorify Him. Consider these sobering words my brother-in-law once stated in a Bible study he taught, “Christ is judging the world, while the world is judging Christ through the people who are supposed to be representing Him.” Remember, it’s not just about you. Ultimately, it’s about rightly representing the LORD by glorifying and honoring Him with how you live your life, so much so that others are drawn to Him.

As always, may the LORD bless and keep you,

Let’s lay down this one embarrassing fact:  You and I belong to the gender that can easily be deceived. Remember Mother Eve?  From the beginning of time, we have been known to fall for any old line.  Satan offered us the chance to be like God, knowing good and evil.  And we fell for it.  Far too many smooth talkers have led many of us astray—choosing dreams and looking for love in all the wrong places, in all the wrong ways, and too often, with all the wrong people.

How will you know when it’s true love?  When you know God.  You might ask, “Well, what’s God got to do with it?”  Tina Turner asked the same question in the bitter lyrics of her song, “What’s love got to do with it?”  Since God IS love, spiritually speaking Tina was really asking, “What’s God got to do with it?”  Jasmine Sullivan took such ignorance a step further in her song “Lions and Tigers and Bears” when she asked, “Why do we love, love when love seems to hate us?”  Possible translation:  Why do we love God when God seems to hate us?  Does He even hear our prayers?

Another example to demonstrate my point, comes from a famous musical group from my day, The Spinners. In their song “Love Don’t Love Nobody,” they wrote “It takes a fool to learn that love don’t love nobody.  It takes a fool to learn that love don’t love no one.” Spiritual translation—it takes a fool (or a non-believer) to come to the diabolical conclusion that God don’t love nobody and therefore, God ain’t what He says He is.  I know that the verbiage is grammatically incorrect, but you can take it any way you want.  Only a fool would come to the conclusion that God doesn’t love anyone; or that God don’t love a nobody.  So what’s God (a.k.a. “Love”) got to do with it?  EVERYTHING!!!  How can you discern true love when you don’t even know the One who IS love?

For those of you who believe that God hates you, let me introduce you to the One who loves you with an everlasting love!  I’ll start with the love letter that God wrote to you and me long before we came on the scene:

I have loved you (Malachi 1:2).  Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you (Jeremiah 31:3).  I have drawn you with cords of a man, with bands of love (Hosea 11:4).  You are holy unto me.  I chose you (Deuteronomy 7:6).  You are special to Me. I have engraved you on the palms of my hands (Isaiah 49:16).  I am your Maker and your Husband (Isaiah 54:5).  Before you were formed in your mother’s womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I sanctified you and set you apart for My glory (Jeremiah 1:5).  I will betroth you to Me forever.  I will betroth you in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving kindness, and in mercies.  I will even betroth you to Me in faithfulness and you will know Me (Hosea 2:19, 20).

Delight yourself in Me, and I will give you your heart’s desire (Psalms 37:4).  I’m going to prepare a place for you, and since I am preparing a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself that where I am, there you may be also (John 14:2, 3).  We will be together – always and forever.

I have prayed for you that we may be one – as the Father is in Me, and I in you, that you may be made perfect in your oneness with Us (John 17:9, 21, 23).

There is no greater demonstration of love than for a man to lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).  Take that as proof of My love for you, because I laid down My life for you (1 John 3:16).  I gave up all that I had going on in Heaven so that I could be with you forever.

I will never leave you nor forsake you. I am with you always, even unto the end of the world (Hebrews 13:5 and Matthew 28:20).

Love,

Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior

So, how will you know when true love comes along?  When you know God.  You can begin to know God when you read His Word.  When you believe His Word and do what it says, IT will change YOU!  You become more loving and more lovable.  In fact, IT, the Word, begins to fit you for the right man.

You see, women were created by God to be a man’s companion and helper.  You can read about it in Genesis 2:18-22. When God created Eve, she was formed from one of Adam’s ribs.  God put Adam to sleep one day and performed the very first surgery ever recorded.  When Adam woke up from that surgery, He realized something was missing.  He stood in need of something that he previously didn’t realize he needed—until God made it physical!  So when he woke up, puzzled and sensing a need for something, God brought back his rib – the missing link – the only one that would complete him and make him whole again.

Notice that God created the wound in Adam’s side and brought back the missing link—which was now formed and shaped in such a way, that she was the perfect fit for him. Eve was brought to Adam to minister to his need and to help him in life.  And when Adam saw Eve, it was love at first sight.  He said, “Wow!  This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.  This one is mine!  Of all the things I’ve seen…of all the things I have experienced thus far, THIS one belongs to me!  I don’t want to leave her.  She is mine.” “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Gen. 2:24 KJV).  Nothing is recorded about how Eve felt about all of this.  But one would think that Eve must have been drawn to Adam because she came from him.  So the chemistry was definitely there!

When it comes to knowing if it’s true love or not, you have to seek the LORD for wisdom. However, in reality, it’s not your job to try to figure that out.  Your job is to stay so connected to the True Lover of your soul that you allow Him to prepare you for the man that He wants you to minister to.  When you choose marriage (and dating can lead up to marriage), you are choosing a life of ministry to one man.  God MUST to be in the picture!

Eve was created from a God-inflicted wound in Adam.  To fix that wound, not just any rib would do.  Only a specific cut, with a precise size and shape, will properly fit the wound that the Lord creates in your man.  You see, God created it in him for you!  You are being specially designed to complete the man whom the LORD will open up for you.  You don’t have to worry about how he’s going to look.  Keeping in mind that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” rest assured God is not going to give you an unattractive man that nobody would want. Trust that the chemistry will be there – when it’s the right one.

Too often, “we want what we want.”  We pray and ask the Lord for a cool guy, with heart-throb looks, a bit of a bad boy swagger, but soft enough on the inside so that we may be able to control him with our tears.  We may even go so far as to specify what kind of car he has and how much he has in his bank account.  And the enemy can deceive us.   “Mr. RIGHT” (the counterfeit) comes along looking like a blessing from heaven, when in actuality he is a demon from the pit of hell.  And you try to force an unnatural union that just won’t fit and never will fit.  If you decide to go on and marry such a man, you may be signing up for trouble that God never intended for you to endure.

I took the advice of my grandmother, and I share it with you today.  If you want a good husband, you’ve got to pray for one.  Then WAIT on the Lord.  Let the Lord shape you for the right man.  Live in harmony with God’s will for your life.  Save your flower for marriage.  I’ll say it again, save your flower for marriage—and if you’ve already lost it, find it again and start over!  You must set the boundaries in your relationships.  If you set no boundaries, EVEN a good man will take all liberties with you.  If you properly set and adhere to those boundaries, and the man you love respects those boundaries, then there is a good chance he’s going to be the real Mr. Right.  Any man who forces, or pressures you to give up your flower before marriage is probably not the right one.

Now that you are acquainted with God’s love letter to you, you have somewhat of an outline as to whether or not the man truly loves you.  When the true Mr. RIGHT comes along, he will start talking to you like God does, and you will recognize his voice.  He will speak the same language:

• He will confess his love for you.
• He will make a conscious, deliberate choice to be with you.
• He will commit to you.
• He will ask for your hand in marriage, choosing to be your husband, and give you his name.
• In asking you to marry him, he is giving some indication that he wants a life long relationship.
• He will prepare himself so He can provide for you his best.
• He will give of himself for you and seek to please you.
• He will pray for you and for God’s blessings on your unity.
• He will wait for you.

He loves me.  He loves me not.  He loves me.  He loves me not.  No more guessing games.  When his talk AND his walk, line up with God’s love letter to you, you can safely say, “A-h-h-h…He loves me!”

The Perils of Fear

Fear imprisons, faith liberates. Fear sickens, but faith heals. Fear makes you useless, but faith makes you serviceable. Don’t be afraid of the enemy or his attacks. Instead, trust and have faith in God and His plan.

Stay prayerful and have a wonderful day,